We Find Excess Hair DISGUSTING

Have you kissed a wet mop before? That's what its like when you slobber all over us after taking a drink or getting out of the shower. If you trimmed it, we wouldn't instantly think: Note to self: mouth wipe as soon as he's not looking!

Also, ask your barber to use one of those round trimmer things on your nose and ears. YOU can't see it, but we do and ewww! What are you, dwarves? Hair belongs in only a few places as far as we're concerned. We do legs, pits, lips–both sets!–and think it wouldn't hurt you to do the same.

Did you know that when we see it, our first thought is to grab and yank? If you won't clear it outta there, we will.

Worst places to ignore excess hair-growth:

Beard

Mustache

Eyebrows. One? Come on!

Ears

Nose

From a mole or wart

Bellybutton

Leave that line of hair that goes from there to the pubic area, though. It's sexy.

Easiest way to get rid of all that hair? SHAVE, LIKE WE DO.

Or:

Buy a clever trimmer that is no-cut (meaning just that–you get no cuts from its use) and ask your woman to cover the places you can't reach. A good friend will also do this for you, but even if it's your own shaky hand–shave it.

Then why does it seem like women prefer men with long hair and beards?

Many do, roughly 78% according to Cosmo, like a mustache and a beard, but! They have to be kept neat and trim.

Also, wild hair gives us that bad-boy feel, but except in a few cases (Jax Teller–SOA) we will always get him to shave it all off at least once to see if we like the bareness better.

Best hair cut?

One that covered the ears and comes to just above those wide shoulders. Too long? Well, at least leave me enough to run my fingers through. I like to grab that nape of your neck hair and hold you close when you're on top. How can I ride you like you're my favorite horse, if there's nothing to hold onto?

I know you would, but seriously. You get the point.

Hair care:

No dyes or perms–ever. If it goes white, make it work. I personally adore older men. I can't remember the last time I let a younger male slide between my long legs. If you cover up the gray, we won't be able to judge your age and you'll miss out.

Yes, I know the younger girls want younger hair, but here's a thought for you guys:

Did you know most younger women are trying to give you more than you can handle? Why? Lots of reasons.

*Actually trying to kill you–as in a notch on their bedpost to have made an older man have a heart attack, it was so good.

*Control. As soon as you stop in the middle to catch your breath or can't go again right away, they own you. You never live these things down with women.

*Status. So they have a mocking story to tell their older girlfriends–it's our way of getting back at them for knowing more.

*Revenge. This is the one that hurts–brace for it. You remind them of their daddy.

No, not in the sexual way. As in he tucked me in and read to me and helped me learn to read and I just loved him soooo much.

That girl will ALWAYS leave you. You're not a boyfriend, husband, or even a lover. You are daddy.

Btw, never refer to yourself as sugar-daddy around her or another female. It’s setting you up to watch her drive away with someone else at the bar one night, when she's being teased by her friends under their breath about your age.

There are fifty more reasons, but those are the top. At some point, I may do a series about younger women vs older–differences and patterns. We'll see.

Okay, back to hair.

The hair test:

How many times a day does she touch your air?

How often do you wash your hair?

When was your last cut? Did SHE pick it out?

Women adore soft, sweet-smelling things. If she isn't touching your hair at least once a day, you need to switch shampoos, conditioners, styling products, etc.

However, this only happens if you wash it EVERY day.

If your last cut was less than a year ago, and she picked it out–go right now and ask her who she thinks the three sexiest men on TV are.

After you pry-bar those answers out of her, study the hair of those men and take yourself for a cut–preferably with photos in hand. And don't hit the barber or the barber college. Go to a real beautician, so it will be right. You want her to get wet from being aroused, not from spilling her drink while she tries not to laugh.

Headgear, hats, etc

The longer you wear a hat, the faster you'll go bald. Look at the hair on your ankle, where the socks bunch up. See the missing hair? The same thing happens to your head, genius.

However, the sexiest hat alive, on a good-looking man, is a tan cowboy with a single feather. In close second, is authority–like police, fire, and military.

Recommend a shampoo/conditioner?

The only one that ever did the job well enough to make me remember it was used by a roommate I shared a condo with. He used a combo of the two scents below that drove me absolutely insane. I'd sniff him whenever he got close, it was that powerful.

-Polo for men

-A Cosco shampoo in a tall purple bottle and a Cosco conditioner in a tall white bottle.

Both bottles were very tall, square, and had hand pumps on the top. They are definitely a Cosco product. Comes in big, bulky, man-style pump bottles–which are white and purple! Meaning she won't mind seeing them sitting around the bathroom.

You're bald or losing it faster than a ship can sink?

Buy a wig. Use your sexiest TV men question to judge what type and then keep it in a PURPLE box under the bed. Every now and then, set the box on the bed in the morning. If she's not interested in doing it again, or that night, she'll let you know, but more importantly!

You're learning to not only find out how she wants, you're doing it in a non-invasive way. After the second time she sees you pull the wig from the box, and then take her to bed, she will ALAYS equate that box with sex. It warms her up and gives her something to think about all day. If she has plans, good chance she'll clear the schedule when she sees it sitting (Closed/locked) on YOUR side of the bed.

You're training her.

You have horrible dandruff or greasy hair?

Do you wash it every day?

Do you drink at least 5 glasses of water every day?

Do those 2 things every day for two weeks and watch it improve like magic. Some people can get away with a lot less of both, but you happen to be one of those who can't. So am I. Every day, first thing in the morning. Piss, wash hands and face, brush teeth, drink water, do hair, do me. It's a good life.

Books by Amanda

My New Erotic Short!–The Vampire's Apprentice

Vampire Erotica

The vampire’s apprentice is Mark.

He is a virgin Slayer who has followed one powerful vampire all of his newborn life, hoping to have a permanent place by her side.

The Vampire is Victoria.

She is a senior Slayer who needs only one thing: an obedient apprentice to sate her.

When Mark disobeys, she is forced to teach him a lesson in lust that backfires. One taste of his sweet blood was all it took for her to become consumed with claiming him as her own.

The Vampire’s Apprentice: an erotic short story to read with someone you crave.

Women MOURN the Time Sex Takes

You know what I mean. You've had us in every position and you're still pounding away like we're a spike that you have to drive through the floor. Sweaty, hair in our eyes, mouth, and wrapped around our neck, being pulled back like a bitch picking up a pup, is not our idea of good sex. The average woman can make herself orgasm in less than ten minutes. EVERY time. Why the hell can't you? Don't you understand if you were quicker and she came too, that you'd get laid more often? Wake up.

We would also like to kill the creator of viagra.

We'd shoot him right in the forehead without blinking an eye. Hour long sessions were bad enough. Now you can last four? Do you know how much a woman gets done in a four hour shift? By the time you manage to sprinkle a little seed, or flood as the case may be, we could have:

Made ourselves climax no less than five times, accounting for trips out of the bathroom to cook, clean, surf the net, read, care for kids, fix things, take out the trash you left, and shower. In four hours.

The inventor of viagra has been mentally wished more fiery deaths than anyone else in our generation by females on the receiving end of it. Let us stick a pencil in your ass–repeatedly–for hours. Oh, and don't forget to act like you're enjoying yourself, just having your world rocked. Now suck in that gut and arch that back like a good boy...

"Spread 'em baby, I've got three hours left on this pill and we ain't missin’ a minute of it!"

Oh, joy.

Tired yet? Ready to set up a weekly night instead of being hit with it whenever I choose? Don’t think you'll want it even that often? Now you're getting the idea.

Solution?

Work yourself up before-hand so that you're already more than half way there before you ever push it in. Or! After a half hour, pull out and jack-off until you're on the edge and shove back in for the finale.

What if I blow too easy and don't stay in long enough?

You need to jack off more, but especially right before having intercourse. If you've already gotten yours, it will take a while to build back up.

Still can't control it?

*Gently pull down on your sack until it ALMOST hurts. This delays orgasm, but not for long.

*Have you tried to think of something else during?

*Please her before you push in and then it doesn't matter if you blow across her leg. Just tell her she's so hot, you couldn't help it.

She takes forever to cum?

You have to work her up beforehand, just like with yourself, and I don't mean foreplay. Unlike males, who seem to flip into the mood within seconds, women need about an hour. Come up behind her and rub, kiss, talk! While you guys are settling down. Make her think about it with an occasional dick rub against her hip.

The fastest way to make a woman cum?

Watch 15 minutes of porn–using what she fantasizes about.

Then lick, using the rules you've learned. This will work every time if you change films each night. We like to watch porn as much as you gentlemen do.

Best times for sex?

There are three and all inconvenient.

1.) Upon first wake up. You already knew.

2.) 1.5 hours before bed

3.) About 1pm. Don't ask. I can't tell you why for sure, only that I suspect it's one of those things...

"Damn, hours left to go. I'd much rather be anywhere, doing anything.” or "Sigh. Kids in 2 hours. Better get mine while there's still time."

Women often feel rushed in everything they do, stealing minutes away from one thing to be able to cover another. When we spend 1.5 hours letting you drill for oil, we mourn the time.

We DO have a 'G' Spot

Oral sex is the most satisfying way to make it happen.

And here's how you do it.

Always kiss first, guys. It's a method of training us, and making your job easier.

When we hear that sound, we get wet and start preparing OURSELVES mentally. Now, don't get carried away–we're the queens of faking. We know the difference, but a soft kissing noise and maybe even a very low growl of anticipation is just perfect. It makes us relax, a state no female orgasm happens without, but it also makes us think:

"Aww... See, that's why I let him have a quickie every morning and fake it. Because at night, he sees to MY needs."

That's a woman who will NOT cheat, gentlemen.

Do you have to go down on her? It tastes awful!

No shit, Sherlock. Ever hear this?

"Mmm... You taste good!"

What a load. A penis taste like a penis, unless it's smeared in chocolate. And then it taste like a chocolate cone we can't bite until we swallow a layer and then it's just penis again. Sweaty, been inside your pants all day, hasn't even been wiped after pissing and you want me to put it in my mouth? After having your lint-ridden, pissy flesh exploding in there, you have the nerve to whine? Please do us all a favor and picture it the other way around. Now think about eating.

Oral sex does not taste good. We don't do it for that reason, anyway. We do it out of a loving kindness and a slightly twisted sense of excitement because sex is so taboo. When she says you taste good, she's triggering your erotic mental zones to help you cum so she can slip off to the bathroom. Another words, words are used by women to get it over with quicker.

Why is it so hard to do the same for her? Learn to breathe through your mouth and nose like we do, make some noises that appear you enjoy it, and USE YOUR HANDS to help it along.. If you want more oral sex, you have to GIVE IT.

How?

Not a clue, right? Root down in there, shove the tongue around a lot and hope.

Sigh. Remember lie #3?

1.) Kissing 101–Lick, honey. Like you're tasting the best damn ice cream on the planet, but it's so cold, you can only handle a little at a time.

2.) Then suckle, like the balloon might pop if you apply too much pressure.

3.) Alternate those two until she's dripping, then gently insert the tip of a finger. The first knuckle at most to start with (Less than half an inch for anal is better for women who haven't done it or claim not to like it. Most women simply haven't been introduced to it correctly.)

4.) The finger motion is so slow that you couldn't possibly dance to it. NEVER go in further than the second knuckle. 95% of women prefer anything going in that far to be doctor-related or a stiff penis/vibrator. Nothing else.

5.) Lick, suckle, in and out. (To the beat of her favorite song will score you points.) When you feel those vaginal muscles clamping down on that one finger, she's getting close to orgasm. We strain for it–usually because of the limited amount of time we get to achieve. Often toes will curl, legs will clench, and the pulse in the ankle will be pounding–all things you can monitor WHILE pleasing her.

6.) When she arches, only suckle. Same strength usually works, though most men seem to think that means it's time to bury their face in it and see if the spine really can be sucked out through a straw. Ease up. The clit has DOUBLE the nerve ending of a penis and we get extremely sore, very fast.

7.) Ride out the wave. When you jerk away, smear your face across your sleeve and mount-up, it ruins what could have been perfect. Keep suckling gently until the shudders and clenches have faded to at least five seconds apart. Then use the sheet she's laying on, while she recovers. A smart man will keep a halls cough drop by the bed, or something similar. You won't have to stop for a drink, and she won't lose that sweetly pleased feel.

8.) Have your way, knowing she's satisfied. And like with the fingering, she may even fake a second orgasm just to make sure you're as pleased as she is. I always do.

What if you just can't do it, no matter how hard you try? The gagging ruins it every time.

1.) Take a stomach control medicine and eat 2 halls cherry cough drops.

2.) Now try again. Real men don't EVER quit trying to please us.

She didn't cum

Did you give up, then? She's expecting you to. She wasn't able to rech that happy place, you got upset, and now there's a cold silence.

Your should have thought back to lie# 4-Fingering. The combination of oral and fingering is incredible to a woman. Try again.

Still didn't cum and I'm getting annoyed

Then you're not ready for this. You haven't seen to her other needs and they're interfearing. Here are the biggest things that stop a female orgasm

1.) Self-conscious.

We know the taste sucks. We know we're not a supermodel. We know you'd rather be fucking. We know we're flawed and this is a moment when we have to let those defenses down. It's not easy to do.

Solution?

Conversation a couple days before the next attempt and effort. Set up room this time, make sure she has a sheet she can pull over herself, show her the cough drops to account for taste, and assure her that it turns you on.

It doesn't? Then you need to FAKE IT. Run those forbidden fantasies through your head and get hard against her leg. We'd do it for you.

2.)Privacy

We don't want anyone else to know the things we enjoy in bed. You guys brag, we collect the images.

Solution?

Make sure no one else can see or hear, unless you KNOW she likes that sort of thing. Even thin apartment walls can hurt your effort. Send the kids to school, turn up the music, and close those blinds, guys.

3.) Your reaction.

If you stop to cough, gag, sneeze, scratch, pick you ass or anything else, the mood is totally shot.

Solution?

You already know. Account for it and adapt. Cough drops, candy, ice. Use your big brain.

4.) Don't know what to do.

Most men don't understand that we want exactly what you do.

Solution?

Follow the steps above, and then carefully explore what worked and expand on it.

5.)He gets impatient and stops too soon or changes that sweet rhythm

The solution is self explanatory.

Conclusion:

Use that clit. It's your way into more oral sex and intercourse. A women who gets suckled a few nights a week will cook and clean, care for kids and do your errands without a complaint, even when you screw up. All you have to do is make sure that she cums, too.

We HATE How You Finger Us

Scrap! She jerks at the pain. He thinks she likes it and repeats. No orgasm for her tonight and maybe no bathroom afterwards, either, but as long as you get yours...

Consider the cotton-candy analogy from truth #3. We don't like that being done inside us, either.

Never do any of the following while you have a finger in:

*Move up and down like it's a toggle-switch

*Scratch or try to pick anything you might feel

*Try to 'circle the sides'

*Cough or sneeze–it's like getting a blow-job while driving, and then hitting a pothole at the wrong moment. Fucking painful.

We need a smooth in and out motion. If you can't do it with a penis (hands off), then don't do it with a finger.

Best position for female fingering

Thee are two.

1.) We lay on our back, legs flat–not over your leg or arm, or up in the air like it's a vaginal exam.

2.) On our side, legs closed, your finger from behind. This one is harder to manage, but OMG! does it feel good.

How many fingers?

I like one, but thanks to 3 C-sections, I'm still tight, with a nasty scar-line. Anymore than that and it hurts. After giving birth, women stretch. Your first two fingers kept tightly together will do the trick, thumb tucked under the remaining fingers. This is the only time we're okay with you using that middle finger, btw.

Warning!

DON'T EVER split those fingers inside her like she's a rock-n-scissors game. It makes her want to kick your ass. With your teeth.

How far in?

Up to the second knuckle. Any further is considered the setup for fisting, something you can't even pay most prostitutes to do. When you pass that knuckle, we clench up. You think that's a good sign and go farther. Sigh. Please try to learn the difference between I like that and ouch, damn it!

How Fast?

Slow down. You're not sawing. You are gently fingering a dangerously-full balloon. Too hard just once and pop! There goes her mood.

You know how the first touch of a mouth on your dick is the best? And that sometimes, it just about the most perfect thing you've ever felt? And then she moves her head or stops and you lose the magic grove and find it again? It's exactly like that with fingering. Set up that first contact long before you do it, so that when you push just a tip in, she's already close to blowing. How? Remember rule #1!

Where the hell is your other hand?

While you tease me that way, either your other hand or one of mine MUST busy. Remember rule #1. Fingers don't cause them, either–only direct clitoris stimulation works. You can combine it with amazing things like male lips, fingers, and dicks (oorah!), but in the end, her slick little nub is the key to getting laid whenever YOU want it.

Now, a smart woman understands that position will kill a male's back after a short time, and will slide her own hand down. That leaves yours free to touch–HER.

You should already be tight against that ass, thrusting through her slickness to bump roughly between her thighs (under the hand). You'll get your turn, and feeling that waiting bar will make her hotter.

If she doesn't do herself, or maybe doesn't know that she should, gently take her hand and put it between her legs. Enjoy watching the shock, too. You've earned it with that one. Most women have NO IDEA that you like to watch us touch ourselves. Did you know we feel the same? Shiver.

As a bonus–if you do this while on top of her, you may actually get that a little taste of ass this time as she explodes, arching upward... (Never shove forward, though, as much as you'll long to. Anal sex WILL be one of the 365 lies you're learning, gentleman. My word. You want it? I'll show you how to get her to slide your dick there and then climax from it.)

Clearing throat. Okay, back to work.

First Class Dare & Warning

Be careful. Not all women like this. Some get jealous, thinking you're not satisfied with them. If they already knew that you do yourself 3-15 times EVERY week, they'd relax over it and be grateful they don't have to put out that often.

The Dare:

Let her catch you stroking that stiff dick and holding in those self-made groans.

Act like you don't know she's watching, if you can.  If you can't, just tell her straight out that you need a minute and then you'll clean up and take care of whatever she came in for. Good chance you won't have to finish with your hand, either way. The peeking woman will either come on in and handle it, or she'll at least get so horny from it that you'll get laid when she clears time. As she stares, she'll be rearranging the entire household schedule to be able to get you alone and make you jack off while she watches.

Worst times to do the dare:

*Immediately after the kids leave for school

*Immediately after the kids go to bed

We need to unwind, too.

Followup lesson

Did it work? How well? What went wrong? Will you do it again? Please come back and vote in the right sidebar, but use the answers you just gave to adjust it for the next attempt or Dare. Men who give up, don't get laid.

Your Kissing Skills SUCK

Keep 3/4 of it in your own mouth. If I was supposed to have two tongues in mine, I would have been born that way!

We get off on those nice, slow, soft presses of your lips and a gentle hand behind our neck, sending chills up our spine. We like the feel of your breath against our cheek and your hard body pushing us against the wall for an intense minute of groping. We never say "Damn, I hope he chokes me with his tongue again. I really get wet from that."

So what should you do? Class notes

1.) Lick, honey. Like you're tasting the best damn ice cream on the planet, but it's so cold, you can only handle a little at a time.

2.) Make sure she can breath. You guys get excited and jerk us close–which we love– but your often shoving our mouth and nose against a pillow, hair, blanket, etc and we really do need oxygen.

3.) Don't use tongue EVERY single damn time.

4.) Kiss the corner of her mouth, and again, about an inch over on the bottom lip. Then the other corner, and the middle of her top lip. A couple minutes of this sexy teasing may well have her grabbing your head and holding you still while she plunders your mouth. (Let her keep control for a minute–that gets hot if you have trust-but grab her and make your move before she starts wondering what to do next.)

5.) Never bite. Imagine my teeth clamping down on your nose. Feel the sting, the tears wanting rise at even the thought? Your lips are much tougher than ours. We can't take that crap.

What's the best time to kiss a woman?

Never after she's done something for you. It reminds her of the pecks you give a grandmother on the holidays. Bad reward system, guys. Handing us a chocolate kiss and saying: "good girl!" would get you laid faster. Though, we'd still take the candy before we started screaming–giving you time to run like hell.

Good times:

*In front of witnesses. She might push you away, but inside she's saying: "Aww... See, he wouldn't do that in front of people if he didn't love me." And! She will remember it. Make the kiss good enough that she responds when she normally wouldn't have in public, and you're very likely to get laid later.

*After you cum, but before you pull out. It reaffirms that you enjoyed it. No, we understand it'll be short, but to make up for your gasping, press a few of those sweet pecks to my lips, will ya? It also wouldn't hurt to occasionally throw in man-praise, like "Damn, baby!" We translate just fine. Main point? My ego has to be sated, too.

Bad times:

*Immediately following brushing your teeth. Do you like the taste of toothpaste? Want to swallow a spoonful of it and still be able to get the flavor while you have that cherished morning coffee? Same here.

After your first drink is tolerable, but five minutes is better. That wake-up haze you guys covet so much lasts an hour for a woman. If she doesn't have to get right up and do anything.

That just got you making plans for the weekend, didn't it? Approving nod. Good man.

*While I'm cooking. However, a soft press to the back of my neck while I flip your burger will get me to be on top. I'm just wired that way. The neck, an inch to the left or right of the spine, is one of our 'G' spots. I once had a man find that and lightly suck & then scrape just the barest tip of his teeth over it, in a 'two strokes and switch' rhythm for about ten minutes while I folded laundry. I let him have my ass after I exploded on my hand, his dick, and the clean sheets.

You seeing the point yet? Almost no ONE things gets us off. We need three or four stimulations going at once and most of us, (though sometimes self-conscious) are extremely willing to cover two of those. A lot of men try to take over. She's rubbing her titties! Quick! Slide your hand away from what she was enjoying and try to do the job she chose. Sigh. Mistake and a big mood killer.

What about nibbling?

I personally don't get off on it, but if the man's hands are doing their work, I'll allow if he enjoys that sort of thing. I want him to be excited and if that floats his boat, I'm all good. However, I don't actually know of any woman who likes nibbling in ANY area. We tolerate it because your dick gets like a bar of steel when we let you mark your territory.

That's why you like biting her, btw. Just thought you should know. It's a raw, sexy, primitive instinct that you shouldn't be ashamed of at all, my pets. We find it incredibly attractive. Just be careful with us. We are breakable.

It's NEVER You in Our Fantasies

Let me put it in man-terms. One position with one female, one night of the week, for the rest of your life. Now add in only using that in your thoughts, as well. Makes it hard to think about heading for that comfy, pride-fed bed now, doesn't it?

Does the same to us. You have no idea what it's like to have to clear the time to shave, shower, and have boring sex, just to feed your ego and then get ourselves off. Not much to look forward to. Still wondering why she only spreads those legs once in a while?

Who is in our fantasies?

Your male relatives, co-workers, famous people. The same as yours.

What do we fantasize about?

That's one's a bit harder. When we find something we like, we tend to use the images until they don't draw a spark. Then we'll toss it in the file and adapt an old one.

We're usually watching our chosen players, not being one of them, though the woman will resemble us slightly.

Yes, we use the taboo shit, just like you. Rape, the occasional incest, and while asleep, are the favs.

Stop frowning at having it admitted so openly. Our thoughts are our own. Don't feel guilty for what your life-conditioning has scarred you with. So long as it never leaves your head, it's your business.

Will we act out our fantasies?

Sometimes, but it rarely ever works. There's no way you can match the images in our minds, and the same for us, with you. Always better off creating a new one.

Here's that class lesson, gentlemen.

1.) Get these three movies:

9&1/2 weeks

An Officer and a Gentleman

The Jodie Foster rape movie that I always forget the  name of. (You'll shock her with this one, my friends, I promise. Very few men have the balls to sit through a movie about a rape trial and then proceed with step #4)

2.) Watch one of the movies

3.) Do not make even one sexual move during the entire film. And watch it, too!

We hate it when you try to please us and act bored.

4.) Take her to bed.

5.) Repeat the next night until all of the films are watched.

Was she hotter or colder than usual? Which film did she react to? Base your fantasy attempts on the results.

She didn't like any of those?

You know her better than I do as in triggers, you just can't see it yet. Pick different types of movies with sexual scenes until you find the one that rings her bell.

How will you know if her bell has been rung?

Snort. Was the sex different? Nail marks, clothes on the fan, louder, sweatier, longer/shorter? Use your brain and evaluate her like you would a car with a knocking noise.

"Let's see... What's causing it? Maybe if I lube 'er up, the nut will go easier." Duh!

Is there at least one fantasy that all of us use?

Of course. There are always exceptions, but at least 90% of all females who have a previous orgasm will use this one over and over through the long years.

Pants unsnapped, yet? They should be. You'll enjoy this. Read for pleasure the first times. Then, read it again as a study guide while you quickly zip it up.

What? You were going to anyway.

It was exactly midnight when the cab pulled up. I know because I'd just looked at the clock on the Central Trust tower, missing the arrival. Orange, lined in white with black lettering, it was the only car I'd seen in the last hour, other than the police. In this City, those were always on the roads. Late January was a bad time for any business, let alone mine.

The window slid down to reveal an average taxi and an even more average driver–a sandy blond ponytail hanging behind a dark colored shirt.

"You should get in. We'll talk."

His voice was smooth, like the kind that should be singing backup for great bands, and I didn't hesitate, sliding into the warm car. It was roughly freezing and I hadn't had a single client all night.

"So where we goin?" I used my southern accent, almost sure it had been my very long hair that had drawn him.

He looked at me in the mirror, smiling politely. "Somewhere we can be alone."

I nodded and leaned back as the Taxi pulled smoothly away from the corner I always worked. "You guys busy tonight?"

He shook his head, made a gentle turn as he waved a hand at the lit up but silent cab radio.

"Not any more than you, I would think."

I studied him now, his total uncaring that we'd already broken laws and were about to blow through a few more, catching my interest. He wasn't ashamed, liked living on the edge, I thought, spying the beginnings of gray, of real age, creeping into his hairline. Ah. Fear of death. I couldn't have been more wrong.

His eyes met mine in the mirror and I recognized the need in them.

"I'd like to hire you."

I grinned sexily. "You already have. Price matter right now?"

His eyes never left mine as he gently braked for a yellow light. "There's a credit card on the seat next to you. Do you want to stop and get it first?"

I fingered the MasterCard. Johnathan Harker. Age, 37. Musician's animation on the logo. "After's fine."

He nodded politely and I caught a whiff of aftershave that sent a jolt through my system. Sexy!

"What's your name?"

"Amy. Yours?"

He grinned at my joke and I didn't bother to ask before lighting a slightly crushed Winston. His neat turns had quickly taken us to a more expensive neighborhood than I'd been expecting. Surely not his home?

We pulled onto a long gravel driveway surrounded by thick trees and utter darkness. When I looked up, I saw he'd been watching me.

"We can go somewhere else?"

He slowed as he made the offer, letting me have control, and I shrugged, relaxing.

"I'm fine with this."

The barn was full of straw, some baled but most spread out to dry, and when he took my hand in the dark, my heart thumped, very aware of him as a man. I was going to enjoy this one.

He turned suddenly and I could feel the tension in his big body, the need, the self control held tightly in check. He didn't touch me until I stepped into his arms.

Then, that's all he did–his fingers restlessly searching. His lips burned on mine, his breath sweet, thumbs working the sensitive flesh of my nape, my jaw, my cheek, as we kissed. Our mouth never lost contact as he slid me to the ground.

It was amazing how fast he had us uncovered and was between my legs, pushing into me. He was like steel and velvet in every hard thrust, hitting my body in just the right places and I pulled him close as I gasped, listening to him moan.

His lips went to my neck, body straining to get deeper and when I spread my legs further to let him, he began shoving into my heat with vicious jerks that slid me up on the straw and drew a surprised cry of pleasure from my lips as I exploded. Instinctively, I worked my tip, groaning his name.

I could tell he liked that by the way his lips burned into mine, his breathing harsh, iron bar pushing into me harder, and then he was up on his knees, hand a blur.

I quickly rolled over to give him something to aim for. Hot seed rained down on my cheeks and I smiled in the darkness, hearing his gasps. He'd needed that.

Silence reigned for a moment and then he surprised me again by being a complete gentleman, from wiping me off and helping me dress, to the hug and soft kiss on my cheek. "Thank you. You've kept me from hurting people."

Understanding fell into place as we walked back to the Taxi.

"She belongs to someone else?"

Now he was the one surprised and I didn't tell him I had a lot of experience with that sort of thing. He knew.

"Used to be my best friend," he sighed. "Hasn't been for a while now."

"Is it guilt or bitterness that keeps you away?"

He met my eyes. "Both. There are kids involved too."

He looked away and his voice was tortured. "The family that shoulda been mine."

My heart hurt for him and I slid my arm around his lean hips, laid my head against his shoulder.

"What can I do for you, John?"

His eyes and voice held shame for the first time.

"Be here when I need you. Be...available when it hurts so much I think I could just run into a brick wall and not feel anything anymore! Be my safety net when the only thing I want or care about is being with her, no matter who it hurts."

His voice lowered, full of self loathing. "I'll pay you well."

I nodded against his jaw.

"I can do that."

We made the drive to the ATM in quiet and when rolled down my window, I understood I could charge my own price. My finger moved toward the 2, after all, I'd enjoyed it, and his head shook. His eyes were still burning with need and control as he looked at me.

"Whenever I need you?"

I nodded, smiling. "Yes."

"Move down one."

My heart thumped as I hit the 4 and then two zero's. "Are you sure?"

His tone held a note of panic.

"Yes. If I go to her, she'll leave him. She loves me, always has, but she's everything to him. I'd never allow myself to be happy if I wrecked his home to get it."

I hit the enter button and after stowing the cash, wrote two numbers on a slip of paper that I gave him with the credit card. "Day or night."

We passed the ride back in companionable silence, both smoking. My eyes wandered over the taxi, seeing dice on the mirror, anti government slogans on the dash and over in the corner, near the heater vent, a small picture of a very pretty, very sad woman with dark hair longer than mine. 

Pushing away my greedy nature, I wondered if he knew how unhappy she was. I read it easily in her eyes. He looked at me in the mirror and I smiled soothingly, willing enough to be what he needed.

"Maybe fate has something planned. You shouldn't give up hope."

He sighed, nodded, but I knew he'd already faced the cold future that waited.

"Maybe. Thank you."

He pulled to the curb where he'd picked me up and I moved away without looking back. I'd have to be careful with this one. A guy like that would be too easy to fall in love with and that wasn't in my job description. He clearly belonged to someone else.

Do we really go all the way to the end?

Most of the time. Our explosions usually happen when we hit the $400 tab and feel the cold cash in our greedy hands. The setting, clothes, players, etc will change, but the main action you just blew off to will always be roughly the same. The thought of being a hurting man's secret escape is our number one fantasy. We don't want to be hookers, but the idea of offering comfort for money arouses us.

She doesn't watch movies, or you can't figure it out from the films?

Here are a couple other ways to judge what does it for her:

1.) See what she's reading. A woman likes to visualize, and reading is perfect for it.

2.) Leave a quiz or magazine test laying out for her to find. She won't actually mark the answers, but you can mention it later and watch her face as you talk about it. Tell her you took it, too, and what the results were.

You want to role play?

So does she. Like you, she's embarrassed and afraid of causing a fight or problem. I'll do a post on role play sometime in the future, but the easiest way, is to tell her what you'd like t try and let her decide. We prefer to know what we're getting into head of time.

Quick and easy role play ideas?

Back of the car with the hitchhiker (This work with either person playing either role.)

In the laundry room with the sitter/butler